


Catfight

by Willa Shakespeare (AnonEhouse)



Category: Blake's 7
Genre: Crack, F/M, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-09
Updated: 2013-05-09
Packaged: 2017-12-10 22:20:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/790830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/pseuds/Willa%20Shakespeare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Back in May of 2001, the list-mom of the Adult B7 mailing list told us not to cat-fight while she was away. Not that we fought very often, we mostly made love, not war. But the joke gave me an idea.)</p><p>In one episode Blake, Jenna and Cally go undercover at a Freedom City bar and, in order to distract the owner while Blake searches the back room, Jenna and Cally pretend to have a catfight over Blake. This is what I imagine happened after they returned to their ship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Catfight

(If you are reading this on any PAY site this is a STOLEN WORK, the author has NOT Given Permission for it to be here. If you're paying to read it, you're being cheated too because you can read it on Archiveofourown for FREE.)

"And then she called me a ten-credit touch," Cally said, while wriggling to try to reach the zipper at the back of her slinky gown.

"Here, let me do that," Vila said, putting down his glass of something green at her bedside table.

"All right, but remember, I'm due on watch in twenty minutes."

"Spoilsport," Vila said, but he took his time easing the zipper down, kissing along the line of her backbone as the zipper slipped slowly down.

"That's when..." Cally gasped as Vila's tongue hit a particularly sensitive nerve bundle. "I threw my drink at her," she said when she caught her breath.

"Cally! You didn't," Vila said reproachfully, coming around still on his knees (the zipper had been a very long one) his hands following her waist around so he wouldn't lose his balance.

"It was only a drink. It could not hurt Jenna," Cally said, puzzled by Vila's over-reaction.

"Wasting a perfectly good drink, that's a sin!"

"Is it really?" Cally asked, mock-dubiously. "Does that mean I should do penace?" She smiled at Vila and dropped the front of her gown. "A quick one, mind."

Vila nodded, and promised, but he had his fingers crossed behind his back.

***

"You'll find Lurgen," Jenna said to Blake, rubbing his bare shoulders which were turned to her as he sat by the side of her bed in pensive mood. "Now stop worrying and come back to bed."

Blake smiled down at her. "What, again? I don't know if I can."

"Oh, come on, be a hero." Jenna smiled back at Blake, and her crinkled nipples seemed to wink an invitation of their own.

Blake gnawed on a finger for a moment. "True, I do have a reputation to maintain." Blake stood up and let his trousers fall to the deck.

***

"BLAKE!!!" Avon's voice, loud and nearly frantic, came over the intercom.

"What!" Blake shouted back, leaning heavily on top of Jenna to hit the intercom. "Are we under attack?"

"Not yet, but it's close!"

Blake slammed on the door-release and was on his feet pulling on his trousers by the time Avon entered the room.

"How many?" Blake said, leaning over to pull his boots out from their nesting place under the bed.

"ONE! ME!" Avon shouted as he put his boot to Blake's backside, propelling Blake nose first into the mattress.

"Avon! This is no time to fool around."

"Yes, it is! It was _my_ turn!"

"Avon. Oh, hell, Avon, I was drunk. I forgot." Blake turned his head to look at Jenna who was sitting up in bed, idly fiddling with her hair. She gave Blake a smug little grin. "Jenna. _You_ remembered, didn't you? Why didn't you tell me?"

"All's fair in love and war," Jenna sing-songed, sticking her tongue out at Avon. "You know _he_ and Vila sneaked down to Freedom City to fool around. Why should he get seconds!"

"Why, you spiteful little liar!" Avon snapped. "You know Vila's not my type!" 

"Anything in pants is your type, honey," Jenna said, her eyes sparkling.

"Wait a moment, hang on, hang on," Blake said, trying to be concilatory, "Now, we don't want to be blowing this up out of proportion."

Avon looked at Blake's crotch at the mention of 'blowing'. "Is there any chance of me getting my fair share tonight?"

Blake looked down at himself, and sighed. "Sorry."

Avon snarled something about 'mothers' and 'ducks' or possibly it was 'trucks' and leaped for Jenna's throat, intent on wiping out her smirk.

Jenna screamed something back about 'cabin boys' and met his attack with an elbow to his windpipe.

Avon dodged, and countered with a right cross.

Blake was about to chastise Avon, after all it's really not the done thing to go around punching out beautiful women, but Jenna avoided Avon's swing and countered with a well-aimed foot in his crotch.

Avon curled up like a salted slug, and whimpered.

"Jenna." Blake shook his head, sighed, and picked Avon up. "Back to the med-unit for you, Avon. I swear, I don't know why the two of you can't learn to share."

Jenna was still smirking, so Blake turned back to her with Avon hoisted in his arms. He frowned and said, "You do realize I'm going to have to kiss it and make it better, don't you?"

Jenna's smile turned into a pout.

Blake turned, and Avon managed, despite the pain, to give Jenna a parting salute behind Blake's back. His fore-finger had been injured in the fight, so the 'V' for victory sign looked rather lopsided.

***

Cally sighed as the med-unit chime sounded. She got out of bed, grumbling, "If Jenna has kicked Avon in the testicles again, I will have a word with her about her inconsideration. After all, she could do it just as well during the day watch."

Vila had awakened at the chime, although he wasn't admitting to it until he was sure it wasn't a job for him. He said, "She can't. Cats fight at night."

 _Another foolish human saying_ Cally thought, as she trudged wearily down the hallway. _On Auron we **fix** the damn cats._ She considered it, thinking of Avon and Jenna, gentled and quiet, and a beautiful grin spread across her face.


End file.
